Nothing Good Happens After Midnight: Confessions Of A 911 Dispatcher by Phillip Tomasso
Author:Phillip Tomasso
Format: epub
YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS
I recall two memorable 911 calls, stories I enjoy retelling at family get-togethers, and the like. Letâs face it. These memoirs would be dry, and a tough read, if not for the salt and peppering of stories.
One day, while at a phone position as a TCC, I took a call that went something like this.
âThis is nine-one-one. What is the address of your emergency?â
The caller sounded young. They gave me the address and verified it with the nearest cross streets, their name, and the phone number they were calling from. With everything in order, I moved on to investigative questions. Trying to find out what was going on at the location. âOkay,â I said, âtell me exactly what happened?â
Worded perfectly. If this call was reviewed by a supervisor, I could envision the string of Gold Stars stuck to the front of the page, beside my name. (We didnât get Gold Stars, but supervisors did review calls regularly. God forbid we forget to say, Okay before Tell me exactly what happened).
âI dropped my monkey in the toilet.â
First thought, prank caller. Like I said, the person on the phone sounded kind of young. âIs the monkey still in the toilet?â
The other TCCs in the pod looked over at me. I gave them a knowing shrug with both shoulders.
âYes!â the caller said. They sounded nearly hysterical.
âTake the monkey out of the toilet,â I instructed. âCan you do that?â
âOkay. I took him out.â
I could hear the splash of water. I imagined my caller holding the monkey over the toilet as beads of water dripped off the fur back into the bowl. I muted my mic and stood up, calling for a supervisor.
âYeah, Phil?â the supervisor asked.
âI have a caller who dropped his monkey in the toilet. Itâs out of the toilet now.â I had reached a dead end. I wasnât sure where else to take this call.
The supervisor made a funny face, as she made her way down from the supervisor area toward my pod. âIs the monkey breathing?â
I asked, âIs the monkey breathing?â
âNo. No, heâs not breathing.â
I shook my head, and my supervisorâs eyes went wide. âStart CPR,â she told me.
We used card sets at the time (and now use a computer program, ProQA), for EMS-related calls. I immediately entered a job for the not conscious, not breathing. I noted on the job the patient was a childâs monkey that had fallen into a toilet.
I followed the card-set instructions and read them off to the caller. âListen closely, lay the monkey flat on his back on the floor. Kneel next to him, and make sure there isnât anything in his mouth. Is there anything in his mouth?â
âNo. Nothing.â
âOkay. Youâre doing great. Next, place your hand on the monkeyâs forehead, and your other hand under the monkeyâs neck and shoulders, then slightly tilt the head back. Put your ear next to his mouth. Can you feel or hear any breathing?â
âNo. Heâs not breathing at all!â
âIâm going to tell you how to give mouth-to-mouth.
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